Love Relationships
Why are Love Relationships so important?
From our earliest experiences love is the key to our security and sense of contentment.
We learn at an early age to identify with those we consider as ‘parents’ whatever the relationship, be it blood relative, adoptive or carer.
Our first ‘love’ is often the one we remember with the most affection and sometimes the most regret.
Subsequent relationships are coloured by our tendency to compare and when a love is pure this can seem to be somehow ‘better’ than later loves that carry some emotional baggage.
I can help you to understand why you feel like you do when relationships begin to fray at the edges.
Without blame or fault we can explore the issues with wisdom and insight bringing you potential outcomes that may just produce better life results for all involved.
This is why it’s better to work with someone with experience.
The Mentoring Approach to a relationship crisis transition.
This isn’t couples counselling - I work with single clients but I do recommend that my client engages with a couples counsellor at a very early stage of the process.
It is likely that the couples counsellor will ask each party in the presence of all what their intentions are and if they want to make the relationship work.
This is fundamental to the route we take in the mentoring process - do we look to try to heal or to end the relationship.
Whether you’re at the beginning or have already started your move, you will have realised that your potential life transition will involve more than just yourself. Some call this effect ‘collateral damage’ but it’s more serious than that.
So choose mentoring because the coaching method will be challenging you to find your own solutions. Mentoring is a more relaxed approach because during times of stress, how can one think clearly?
Mentoring holds your hand.
Four Aspects of Change to Consider
“It’s not all about you!”
This is true, relationship transition will be affected and influenced by your family, friends and relatives and more than that.
The PRFS of change.
P = Personal
How well prepared are you?
R = Relational
Are you aware of others involvement, your partner, the kids, the parents and your friends?
F = Financial
Have you counted the cost?
S = Spiritual
Do you or others have beliefs that might influence the process?
The order of importance in which these elements are listed is your choice.
When we explore the pending situation we are looking for ‘green lights’ in each of these aspects.
Will I need counselling or therapy as well?
I can help with this aspect of your journey.
You are potentially the visionary for your new life but we might need to explore some limiting beliefs that could hold you back.
Guilt – Guilt can stop us from fulfilling our desires because it is a very strong emotion. We will need to check if this might be an issue going forward.
Resentment – The last thing we would want is for resentment of your partner to creep in and affect the transition.
Fear – Fear of the future and the unknown, we need to check out your fitness for all this.
Rejection – You might find that it’s a lonely place as you work through the relationship issues without the partner who you have always confided in.
The past – Well we can’t be having the past affecting the future can we?
Transition – Are you shifting from a comfortable life to a stormy one?
From Therapy to Coaching to Mentoring
We often need a bit of therapeutic help to release us from limiting beliefs before we are ready to move into the action phase of our transition.
Counselling & mentoring will help to bring out the best in you, change your beliefs about who you think you are and what you are capable of achieving.
I hope you can see from all of this information that you are not alone in trying to make sense of a complex life situation. There are many people who are in the same situation.
Now you have the choice.
You can either battle on with the mindset that keeps you stuck or you can call me as your therapist, and mentor, approaching it all with a fresh pair of eyes, different thinking, endless possibilities and a sense of humour.
